'AITA for kicking my parents out and saying, 'this is why I was so messed up as a kid'?'
"AITA for kicking my parents out and saying, 'this is why I was so messed up as a kid'?"
I had my parents over for dinner this weekend (60s) and after my daughter (10) asked if she could play us a song she had been practicing on her keyboard (she gets lessons)
It wasn't perfect, few missed notes, a couple pauses, but she did really well. She looked up at the end, massive smile, and I started clapping and my parents started f&^#$%g laughing. Not just a little chuckle. A massive f%&^#$g belly laugh. Them both
My mom asked if it was her first time playing it and my dad said it had to have been. A dog could have played that better. It was like my daughter was shrinking on the spot and she looked down and said, "no, I've had 2 lessons but doing it with 2 hands is hard " and they just laughed even f*@#&^g harder.
I just stood up, took their cups and said leave. Now. My mom tried to say about how they hadn't finished their drinks, they wanted to hear another song etc and said "get your stuff and get the f&^% out of my house right now"
My dad started doing this huffing thing he does when someone dares to speak up to him and my mom said that " there was no need to be like this. That I can't protect her all the time and she preparing my daughter for the real world. "
I said "it's not teaching the real world, they're just nasty little bullies picking on children and stuff like this is why I was so f%$#^d up as kid. Now leave"
They got their stuff and left. I sat with my daughter and explained how proud of her I was and how well she was doing. To ignore them. They were just being cruel because they don't know any other way to be and asked if she could please play it again, which she did.
On the Sunday I messaged and said that until they can behave like decent human beings that we're taking a break away from them. My dad replied that it was my choice but he didn't realise he raised me to be so precious
Now my lovely brown nosing golden child of a sister is getting involved. She phoned me today with my parents version of events telling me a I was a "nasty piece of work" and should never speak to my parents that way. That I'm wrapping my child in cotton wool and blah blah blah. I just told her to go f&$% herself and hung up.
I'm not asking if I'm in the wrong for standing up for my daughter. I'll always do that.
But I did go pretty 0-100. I kicked them out straight away. I swore at them and in front of my daughter. I did raise my voice at the end when i said leave.
I was and still am angry. I don't think I'd even accept an apology from them at this point. This behaviour isn't new, it's decades old. But this is the first time it effected my daughter.
Did I go to far? React too much? Should I have tried to be calmer? Talk it out? I dunno AITA?
Edit: lots of people think I'm a mom lol
Nope, single dad
Also, thank you all for your comments. Def calming the anger I felt and making me feel less s&^% for the way I reacted
Here's what people had to say to OP:
I’m so sorry you were raised by those people yet have not normalized their behavior. NTA
throwaway-throwout OP responded:
The way they were and how it affected me is why I will never ever normalize it. I stopped doing so many things out of a shame I should have never felt and my daughter will not be the same.
I would have dragged them out of the house by their hair. NTA.
throwaway-throwout OP responded:
If it wasn't my parent it wouldn't have been words.
NTA. You are correct, they are "just nasty little bullies picking on children." What normal human would belittle a child's attempt to perform for them? I know three people who never need to darken your door again.
throwaway-throwout OP responded:
It was how they always were. Anything I did while growing up was picked at or laughed at. I couldn't let my daughter feel how I did.
YTA for inviting those abu^%ve pieces of s^%$ to your house in the first place and exposing your child to them.
throwaway-throwout OP responded:
They were awful to me as a kid. But never treated my daughter like that before then. If that had I'd probably have made this post months/years sooner as I would never and will never allow it with her.
My dad used to tell me I couldn’t carry a tune in a basket. All. The. Time.
I have ALWAYS loved music, and I sing along to everything. Every time I did, he’d joke about how tone deaf I was and would give me the old, “you can’t carry a tune in a basket!” line along with a belly laugh and a wink. I stopped singing pretty early, except in my room or in the shower, and later on in my car.
I married a wonderful man - a singer, even - and it’s taken the better part of the last 23 years to find the courage to use my voice again, even with the best, most loving support a girl could hope for.
Thank you so much for standing up for your daughter. Thank you for saving her from losing something she might end up loving. Especially thank you for giving her the other side of the good old “the world is full of dicks” ‘lesson’: that the world is also full of people who are 100% done with that BS, and her mom is one of them.
throwaway-throwout OP responded:
I joined a choir as a pre teen. My parents "supported it" and came to my first show. They then laughed at how my mouth moved and how my face was while i sang. Showed videos and pictures to family so they could laugh too. I quit it not long after
Parents burning the passion f%$#@^g hurts. I'm so happy for you being able to find it again Thank you for your comment
NTA. Your daughter is never going to forget you standing up for her.