'AITA for telling my wife to go to a mental asylum after she told my sister to dress modestly?'
"AITA for telling my wife to go to a mental asylum after she told my sister to dress modestly?"
My wife, my sister, and I went on a 1 week vacation last week. I had just gotten my bonus, and wanted to use it on the vacation. I asked my sister if she wanted to join us because she was still really sad about breaking up with her fiance who had cheated on her, and I wanted to get her mind off of it. My sister was really excited about the trip.
Our vacation was amazing, however, my wife and I did have a minor argument during the vacation. For the vacation, I had booked two separate rooms at the hotel, one for my wife and I, and one for my sister. I did give my sister our spare hotel room key and she was free to come in anytime she wanted.
Every morning, my sister would come in to just hang out and talk with us as we planned the rest of the day. She usually wore an oversized shirt. However, a few days into our vacation, my sister spoke to me privately and told me my wife asked her to dress more modestly around me.
My sister seemed really sad and asked if she was intruding on our vacation. I was shocked and told my sister to relax, and that I would speak to my wife about it.
I spoke to my wife about it, and we had sort of a mini argument. My wife wasn’t really close to her brother, in fact she hated him, so she didn't understand how my sister and I could be so close, and also dress so casually around each other.
I told my wife we dressed casually around each other our whole life (I usually just wore shorts in the house growing up till I left for college) and I asked my wife what was so inappropriate about my sister wearing an oversized shirt. My wife asked why my sister wasn’t at least wearing shorts, and I then told my wife she had to go to a mental asylum and she was ruining the vacation with her crazy behavior.
That was a bit harsh, but that did put a stop to our argument. My wife however, did seem somewhat sad, but she got over her sadness, and the rest of our vacation went by smooth. Was I the AH?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
I would just be pissed that you gave your sibling a key to my bedroom.
This jumped out at me as well. Did he even ask his wife if that was okay? Because I would have a problem with that. There’s no reason sis can’t knock.
INFO: did you consult your wife at all before you invited your sister on your vacation? Did you ask your wife if SHE was comfortable with your sister having a key to the hotel room you were sharing with your wife?
Editing to add: your wife does not seem to be as comfortable with your sister as you are and I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to see my siblings in law in their panties or boxers either. I wouldn’t want them to have open access to the room Im staying in with my partner. What if she busted in while you two were having ___? That’s weird.
GreedyTies OP responded:
Yes, for the vacation, I did consult with my wife and we had a discussion on it, and my wife was ok with it.
As for the key to the hotel room, we didn't really have a discussion on it. I assumed my wife would be comfortable with it. It's not like I gave a stranger the key, I gave my sister the key, the person I'm closest to after my wife.
OP YTA and the spare key is for your wife not your sister!
I’m gonna go with YTA Assuming it’s in good faith, all I could think when I read the post was WTF did you give your sister a key to your room? Does she not have the ability to knock? What if you’re getting dressed, having ___, whatever? And then to crassly suggest your wife is mentally ill?